A letter I wish I could send

Dear unpleasant young woman I passed today:

Your heeled boots are very cute. They are also extremely impractical and insensible when we're in the middle of a freeze-thaw cycle. Wearing such footwear is certainly your prerogative and I don't mean to criticize; heaven knows I've made some questionable footwear choices myself.

I was only trying to be helpful when I warned you about the unexpected slippery patch of sidewalk that I had just barely survived. While some patches of ice are obvious, sometimes there is an extremely slick layer of ice hidden at the bottom of puddles of deceptive depth. This was the case today and I felt that it would be kind to warn you. I nearly wiped out there in my sensible footwear several seconds before, and I wasn't walking in heels while texting like you were.

Being rudely dismissive to me for warning you about such a thing seems quite unnecessary. Now I kind of hope you fall in a puddle in such a way that you aren't seriously hurt but so you have to go through your afternoon looking like you wet yourself in your expensive designer jeans.

All the best,

Jenn

#DwtS First Elimination

Why, why, why was the two hours of show divided into two episodes instead of just a single two hour episode? Satellite television being what it is, I have to set the PVR to record one episode per day or I end up with multiple recordings of each episode. It completely messed up my PVR which recorded only the redundant "Story So Far" portion and skipped the actual elimination half, which I ended up watching live.

There's a reason why I record and watch later: I can't stand the extended commercial breaks, endless filler, and inane banter which is getting worse with each season. If I had to watch live for three to four hours each week, I'd not watch at all. This show is dreadful and almost unbearable without a fast forward button.

Also:

• What's with Brooke's dress? 
• Why does Chris Brown have to be such a douchebag? I dig his music and he puts on a really good performance but it's hard to like him.
• Why doesn't Lacey commit to either blonde or brunette? 

Mike and Sugar Ray in the bottom two is unsurprising. I don't think Sugar Ray will last more than a couple weeks.

#DwtS Week 2

Sugar Ray and Anna's Jive: He had some of the right moves, they just weren't quite at the same time as his partner. His exuberance on the floor a delight, but it really just wasn't a very good as a proper dance.

Kendra & Louis's Quickstep: I think she ended up doing an okay job. A little out of step during the promenades, obviously nervous the whole time, not a lot of grace to her movement. But there is potential. I laughed out loud when Len said "chesticles."

Chelsea & Mark's Jive: I'm a bit at a loss for words. I don't know if I loved it or hated it. I was distracted by the theatrics of it to really judge it as a dance and I wish they'd save the gimmicks for later in the season. This was a really big risk and I feel like Mark has been on the show long enough to know better than to pull something like this.

Chris & Cheryl's Quickstep: WOW! Much improved from last week. I loved it. Chris actually looked like a dancer tonight.

Petra & Dmitri's Jive: I can't pinpoint why, but I didn't like it so much. There was just an awkwardness to it.

Brooke asks some dumb questions. "How much do you hope that you're not eliminated tomorrow?" Really?

Kirstie & Maksim's Quickstep: Kirstie's dress was the opposite of slimming. She did great, I can't fault her for losing energy towards the end, Maks was amazing as always, I just wasn't a big fan of the choreography. I thought the 6 was maybe a tad harsh.

Mike & Lacey's Jive:  Lacey's skirt thing was cute. Some great leg work from Mark, but a little bit too much of him doing nothing while she was dancing around him. Improvement and potential.

Romeo & Chelsie's Quickstep: Wow! Very nice, one of my favorites this season so far.

Wendy & Tony's Quickstep: Again, with that pink fabric for a ballroom dress that makes the curvier women look bigger than they are. Unflattering dresses for Wendy and Kirstie tonight. Much better dance than last week, but still 'meh' on her.

Ralph & Karina's Jive:  Again, wow! It was one of the most fun to watch of the night, but it was a little bit frenzied and loose in places where it should not have been. 7 across the board was fair.

Hines & Kym's Quickstep: Whoo! That was great! Hot, romantic, smooth, great footwork, lovely promenades. Loved it!

My favorites of the night were Chris/Cheryl, Hines/Kym, and Romeo/Chelsie. I'm not sure about the bottom two. Some combination of Petra, Mike, Kendra, and Sugar Ray, but I can't narrow it down more than that. I think that Chelsea and Mark should be in the bottom two, but that the fans will love the quirkiness and more than make up for the judges' scores.

Chris Brown's backup dancers will be wearing dresses made by Dolly Couture, who made my wedding dress!

#DwtS Week 1

New season, new celebs, same old filler. Still, glad to have another season to critique as if I know what I'm talking about. It seems like the last few seasons have started off with giving them some of the harder dances right off the start and then criticizing them for not keeping up. Why not save the dances that are known to be difficult for later in the season?


Chelsea & Mark's Foxtrot: I have no idea who this Chelsea person is, but I liked her. She was bubbling with personality and didn't look at all out of her comfort zone, which a lot of stars do on their very first dance. I look forward to seeing more from her.

Wendy & Tony's ChaChaCha: I'm just not feeling it, but I don't have anything specific to say. She's just a fish out of water here. It actually felt a little bit like a bad drag show.

Hines & Kim's ChaChaCha: Hines can really move those long legs. He had a really nice confidence and just the right amount of swagger. Kim seems to have upped her sexy quotient a bit rather than the cutesy image I usually have of her. Really good dance. Also, I <3 Len and Bruno.

Petra & Dmitry's Foxtrot: It was nice...and bland. It just didn't pop or have much notable about it.

Romeo & Chelsie's Chachacha: At the very start I thought his footwork was going to be stilted, but he did get it together much better than I expected. He was a bit clompy because he wasn't on his toes, but at least his feet were moving well.  Putting him in all black and her in sequins was a good way to mask what was lacking in the hips.  Good charisma, high potential, a nice dose of endearing humility mixed in with the bravado.

Sugar Ray & Anna's Foxtrot: He was the most charming gentleman on the floor tonight. I liked it. He needs work, but his charisma is going to keep him a fan favorite for a while.

Kendra & Louis's ChaChaCha: She wasn't bad in terms of dancing, but I found her very obnoxious during the training clips. Don't like her so far.

Ralph & Karina's Foxtrot: Didn't Ralph used to be cute? Even so, he was great and totally surprised me. I hope he keeps it up.

Chris & Cheryl's Chachacha: Pyrotechnics on the very first episode? I wish they'd save props and gimmicks for later. He was okay, but he needs a bit more flexibility and swish and Cheryl needs to challenge him more.

Mike & Lacey's Foxtrot: His timing was a little off and it was stiff, but there's a glimmer of potential. I thought the judges scores were a just tad harsh. I did enjoy watching them together so I hope he finds his flow soon. Another great Lacey dress.

Kirstie & Maks's Chachacha: I was dubious when I heard Kirstie was on this season. I thought it was going to be a repeat of Margaret Cho, with awkward routines relying too much on comedy. I was very pleasantly surprised. Kirstie didn't look too bad in the rehearsal clips; she was maybe not doing the moves fast enough, but it looked like she had the concept down. I feel like she pulled it all together really well for the performance and did a really good job. I do hope that her time on the show isn't just one long "lulz, I'm fat!" schtick, however; I think she's a better actress and a better comedien than that.

I think my favorites were Kirstie and Ralph, followed by Hines and Sugar Ray. Also an honourable mention for Romeo because I feel like he has the potential to really explode and I want to see what else he can bring.

Resolution Redux

I made some lofty (for me) goals for 2011. Two and a half months in seems like a good time to check my progress.

1) I will complete at least one console video game each month.

I have completed Mass Effect, Alpha Protocol, Bulletstorm, a second playthrough of Fable 3. I also completed Fallout 3 but that doesn't technically count as a 2011 game because it took me 98 hours over a span of two years to finish, only 15 hours of which were played in 2011, but it's worth mentioning. I got damn near close to finishing TMNT, but the last boss battle still eludes me. This resolution is going just swimmingly so far.

2) I will complete at least two novels each month.

This one isn't quite under control. So far between January 1 and today, I have read Sacred Hearts by Sarah Dunant, Siege of Darkness and Passage to Dawn by R. A. Salvatore, and Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. I should be at 5 books by now, so I'm a little behind but not terribly so. I'm reading a Doctor Who book right now which should be a nice quick read.

3) I will spend a minimum of two hours each week playing co-op video games with David.

This one isn't going so well, but that is largely to do with the circumstances of life right now.

4) I will complete at least one knitting or crochet project each month.

I finished a nice chunky broken rib scarf in short order in January. My second project, a nice loose knit fancy scarf in a pretty metallic blue yarn, is going absolutely terribly. I have had to start over three times because of critical mistakes that I could not recover from. This yarn just doesn't want to be anything but a ball in my yarn drawer.

5) I will go to the gym for at least one hour each week.

I was slow to start on this, but I'm now going once a week to a trainer for an hour and try to go for at least a half hour on my own in addition to that.

Partial win!