Today I turn 30. I woke up to find about 15 emails and Facebook notifications from people wishing me a happy birthday.

Not a single one of them was from my dad. He hasn't spoken to me since September 4. I understand that he's against me getting married and in particular against me marrying into this family. He's not coming to the wedding and I don't want him there.

But...I'm still his daughter and it's still my birthday.

I'm going to spend most of the day wondering if I'll hear from him at all...and then if an email comes or his number is on the call display, I'll hesitate because I'm not sure if I really want to hear from him.